PARK YOUR SHOES UNDER MY BED
... A short story about the creature comforts of working at the Firm

After 11 years of being gainfully employed in the machine tool distribution industry in Grand Rapids, Michigan, the company was sold to an East Coast concern. Faced with an opportunity and urge for a career change, my partner and I decided to relocate to Austin, Texas. We made the move without having jobs lined up; just a yearning for a change in careers and living environment.

Being a Myers-Briggs INTJ, I speculated about the experience of being involved with an organization that employs a disproportionate number of logical thinkers. So, I focused on applying at engineering firms, accounting firms, law firms, and scientific research companies.
After we made the move, I was thrilled to land an interview for a marketing position with Austin's largest law firm.  The firm leased four upper floors of a high-rise in downtown Austin and also had offices in Houston, Dallas, and Longview. With 130 attorneys and a long history of successful defense litigation, I surmised the firm was stable. This thought especially gave me the warm-n-fuzzys after pondering an offer from a dot-com that I was sure going to be dot-gone in the not-so-distant future.

Strolling off the elevators into the sleek offices of the Firm was quite impressive indeed. There was a massive staircase against the windows that was open and ascended all four floors.  The view was breathtaking. Off the side of the reception area, two French doors spilled into one of the largest conference rooms I had ever seen.  An enormous, beautiful wooden conference table was centered in the room surrounded by a few dozen oversized leather chairs. It looked like a room that the local good-ole-boys would utilize to sit around and smoke stogies while pondering what kind of lawsuit they could bring to bear against some poor sap with too much cash.

The interview went well. There were two people ... an attorney and a young marketing assistant that looked like a deer in the headlights for some reason. The attorney put me through the ringer and we danced back and forth over several subjects. Then she asked about my salary at my former job. I always considered these types of questions to be an insolence into my personal affairs, so I danced around the question. I figured she had no business knowing what I had been paid ... and, if she really wanted the information, then she could spend the dime and pull a credit report. From the looks of things, it appeared as if the Firm had no problem obtaining any information it desired.  She asked the same question several different ways, and I responded in kind.

After I was awarded the position, I found out that one of the main reasons she hired me was because I had the balls to stand up to her and skillfully skirt the question. I liked her ... always wondered if she was a lesbian. When I met her so-called 'boyfriend', I thought he was a tad bit light in the loafers, especially after the squeeze he strategically executed on my arm while telling me that they'd love to have me over for cocktails. And, something about that look ... oh well ... now I digress.

The second round of interviews was with the Firm's Operational Manager. On the way to the interview, my car, which had been the most reliable car I had ever owned, stalled about five blocks from the Firm. No warning at all ... it just quit. Muttering a number of choice words, I climbed out of the car and instantly became a victim of the 100 degree Texas heat. Beads of sweat began to roll down every portion of my body. The fact that I was dressed in a wool suit didn't help any and reminded me that I was no longer in Michigan.

As I lifted the hood of my car, I glanced at the long line of perturbed motorist behind me. Not a beep though ... hmmm, one of the nice things about Austin. It was a bit of solace ... albeit not much.

Now, please understand, although we had a sizable chunk of change in the bank, both my partner and I were out of work and hemorrhaging cash. The Dutch heritage in me didn't like that fact, so I was going to get this job come hell or high water.  The interview was scheduled in 10 minutes and here I was sweating my ass off dealing with a fucked-up car. Yeah, a fucked-up car and the need to go shopping for a new wardrobe, I thought. More cash outlay ... joy. [NEXT - TO PAGE 2]