MY TANTRIC EVENING
... An evening of debauchery takes an intriguing turn

A friend and I met at 'Fridays' restaurant and we consumed an appetizer and beer as we planned out the details for the upcoming scuba dive trip. We were on our second beer when he paused and said, "Ya know Brad, this is the first time that I have been out on the town having a beer with a guy in nearly five years". He went on to explain that he had chosen to have his duties to family consume his life ... and tonight was a night just for him.

Hearing that, I remembered the conversation with his wife a few days earlier ... and now everything was beginning to create more layers of understanding within my Being. I asked the bartender for the bill and told my friend that I definitely had to get him to "Joy of Austin", a titty bar that was just down the road. What an adventure that night was. It was a 'guy’s night out' for sure.

That was a year ago.

Last night, we repeated our "white trash night". But, we went all out this time. We planned to meet at 'Twin Peaks', a sports bar that is kinda like Hooters. I was sitting at the bar and waiting for my friend to arrive ... admiring the bartender, a twink of a girl who wasn't more than 21 years old .. sculpted body ... wearing short-shorts that didn't even cover her small little ass … and a halter top tied up in the front, propping up her undulating tits and exposing a washboard stomach ... and that beautiful, curved, small of her back that bubbled a desire within me to caress ever so slowly and gently with my fingertips.

I was feeling highly aware of my inner Being ... and highly aware of the nuances of interactions moving in and through the establishment.

The guy sitting on the bar stool next to me struck up a conversation with the bartender. He asked her if she got good tips and whether the amount she receives varies depending on the night. She responded that she created an experiment once in which she dressed more conservatively and found that she received the same amount of tips than when she dressed like a trollup.

I asked her if the experiment she created generated any other layers of awareness other than the fact that her tips do not seem to be affected by her choice of clothing. She said, "Yeah, ya know, I find myself being more comfortable being who and what I choose to be".

Whew.

I found myself admiring the entire package.

My friend arrived and we beveraged and snacked. Then it was off to 'Joy of Austin'.

Upon arrival, I found myself breathing in the environment and witnessing the interactions of several dozen girls … a few performing pole dances, others involved in lap dances, and yet others trolling the establishment for that which suited them.

My attention was especially drawn to a beautiful African American girl that was performing a lap dance across the room. She had an aura about her and a way of moving that seemed to simulate Tandava in many ways. Unlike the other girls who just seemed to be going through the motions while taking in all that surrounded them, this girl was totally focused on her dance. Everything else seemed non-important to her.

I walked closer and positioned myself behind a railing. Just on the other side, she performed her dance on the client positioned on a leather couch … her eyes closed, inwardly focused.  After a few minutes of dancing, she opened her eyes while she happened to be looking directly at me.

Our eyes met. She smiled. I stood mesmerized by her beautiful, brown eyes and her stunning smile.

An hour later, she introduced herself after my friend told her of my admiration for her and paid for two lap dances.

She invited me to a couch. There, she climbed up on my lap and began her dance. Her distinct, delightful smell filled my nostrils with the essence of her beauty.

After a few minutes, she stopped her dance, looked at me … and we exchanged this conversation …

G: “You’re the first guy tonight that hasn’t grabbed my ass”

B: “As beautiful as your ass is and as much as I desire to touch it, I thought I would honor you by asking your permission first.”

<10 second pause while she looked deeply into my eyes, stunned>

G: “Who are you?”

B: “The name given to me is Brad, but I’m simply a Spiritual Being moving through the lens of a human existence like everyone else ... and, in this moment, I find myself staring into the eyes of God.”

<another 10 second pause, with a beautiful eye gaze >

G: “Are you a cop?”

B: “No”

G: “Guys who don’t touch are usually cops. Are you going to arrest me?”

B: “No”

G: “I don’t think so either. Cops don’t say the things you say. You’re different.”

B: “We’re all different … perhaps, just in various ways”

<she stops her dance, cuddles up to me, and lays her head on my shoulder, her eyes inches from mine>

G: “You don’t wanna dance, do you?”

B: “Your dance is beautiful. But, I’d love to eye gaze with you for a few minutes”.

G: “What?”

B: “I would enjoy looking into your eyes and perhaps caressing your face.”

<another 10 second pause, with a beautiful eye gaze>

G: “I can’t do that.”

B: “I know you can … you just do not choose to at times. And, that’s ok. I noticed that you go inward and focus on your inside when you dance. That’s quite beautiful too. I think focusing on your inside is the first step in being able to open up to who and what you really are.”

G: “Who am I?”

B: “You are the crowning achievement of the Living God … expressing uniquely as you  … and there is nothing you need do, or nothing you need not do to be that.”

<another 10 second pause, with a beautiful eye gaze >

G: “I’m not that. I have too many walls. I don’t have any friends. I push people away.”

B: “Thank you.”

G: “For what?”

B: “For choosing to be here now; fully present with me. I am incredibly honored.”

G: “I’m dancing … at least I was …”

B: “Ok. But my experience has been one of gentle eye gazing for the last few minutes.”

<a 30 second pause, with a beautiful eye gaze>

She then proceeded to talk about some of her experiences of being a dancer … all the while, we stare into each other’s eyes. After a while, she stops talking as she notices me examining over square inch of her face.

<she buries her head into my shoulder>

G: “Can I cry?”

B: “Please.”

For the next five minutes, the environment around us seemed to disappear even though the pumping of the music was still palpable. We drifted into the experience of emotional release. She cried. I cried.

As we broke from our mutual connective experience, we saw many people looking at us.

<she realizes people are staring, her body tenses, her defense mechanisms kick into high gear>

G: “I need to go”

B: “You just left.”

G: “Who are you?”

B: “The name given to me is Brad, but I’m simply a Spiritual Being moving through the lens of a human existence just like you ... and, in this moment, we find ourselves staring into the eyes of God”.

No more words were spoken as she lept off my lap and disappeared behind a doorway.

The engagement feeling complete in that moment, I left … happy … content … having received exactly what I desired.